February 22, 2012

When Your Child is the Bully

Physical bullying at school, as depicted in th... 

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Having your child be subject to teasing and bullying while at school can be heart-breaking for most parents. The feelings of helplessness often overwhelm parents and leave them unable to assist their child in coping with and solving the problem. However, the situation can be even more difficult for parents who discover that it is their child who is doing the bullying. When kids bully others at school, daycare or in other situations, parents often fail to recognize the signs. They may even praise their children for ”standing up for themselves” or ”not taking guff” from other kids. When they are forced to realized that their child’s behavior is unacceptable, they often blame themselves.

Of course, applying blame isn’t helpful and only diverts attention from the real issue, which is responsibility. When parents take responsibility for what they are teaching their children, they are also helping kids take responsibility for their own actions. This cycle is much more conducive to interrupting the trend of bullying and related school violence and is much healthier for all parties involved.

If your child is exhibiting bullying behavior, you must take immediate steps to stop this. Once you feel you have convinced the child that what he is doing is wrong, take a look at some possible causes for his behavior. You may need to consider counseling or at the very least schedule some conferences with his teachers, principal or guidance counselor. Your child needs to understand that bullying is a serious problemand that you are committed to helping him stop.

 

 

School Violence and Bullying

Bullying on IRFE in March 5, 2007, the first c... 

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School violence came to the forefront of the news when two students brought guns to Columbine High School in Colorado and opened fire on the students, faculty and staff. Thirteen people were killed in the attack and another 21 individuals suffered injuries of varying degrees. This wasn’t the first incidence of school violence, nor was it the last, but it did focus America’s attention on the need for better prevention of bullying and other types of school violence.

Since then, the Columbine tragedy and other similar instances have initiated questions concering the causes of this type of behavior, including violence in movies and video games, medications for juvenile depression or attention-deficit disorders and even the discipine that American children do and do not receive at home. So far, there have been no definitive causes and thus no absolute solutions. What we do know is that horrific school violence situations can stem from what was previously considered to be ordinary bullying.

There is no such thing as harmless bullying. Not only does this type of behavior do massive amounts of harm to the victims, but also those guily of the bullying. When parents send the message that bullying is a part of growing up or should be handled by the children themselves, they are validating the emotional causes in the bully. When kids grow up believing that ”might makes right,” they have a difficult time adjusting to situations in which they enjoy little power, and may even have a higher incidence of adult criminal behavior.

 

Dealing with School Violence

Change Begins Here. 

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There is no escaping it. For reasons that may sometimes be difficult to understand, school violence is prevalent. School violence has taken the lives or destroyed the futures of several youngsters as well as education providers. While many would like to point fingers at a faulty education system, the fact is that the social environment, home atmosphere and the child’s own psychological makeup can be contributing factors. If one were to try to deal with this issue, it has to be on multiple levels – it is the responsibility of the school, parents, teachers, members of society and all who live together in a community.

Schools have taken several steps to help deal with school violence in an effective manner. Teachers and education providers have to be sympathetic to students to a certain extent. They are at a volatile age and are undergoing many changes both physically and mentally. Life can be a series of turmoil for them and during school hours, it is up to the teachers to spot those that need some extra attention.

As parents, you must try to recognize violent tendencies in your child and address them. This does not mean just admonishing your child and forbidding them to do things. Rather, you should try to talk to them about what could possibly result in such violence. Anger management is not just for adults but for children as well.

For those who have already suffered the brutality of school violence, coping is just as important too. This must be done personally with family members as well in school among staff and students.

B​ooks on School Violence

B​ecause violence in public schools has become such a huge problem, it can be helpful for teachers and administrators to have a reading list handy on the subject. There have been a great deal of books published on the subject that deal with the causes, prevention tips and potential fallout of school violence.

F​ear Versus Facts, by Dewey Cornell: A forensic psychologist discusses a number of myths identified from his work with children including those about bullying and armed violence.

R​educing School Violence Through Conflict Resolution, by David Johnson and Roger Johnson: The authors of this book go into great detail explaining what conflict is, how it happens and when it is necessary. They also explore a number of useful methods for resolving conflict before it escalates into violence.

S​topping School Violence, by Derek Randel: This book mainly deals with bullying and is written for both parents and teachers. Randel also discusses several tools for victims of bullying to help bolster self-esteem and better understand the nature of problem.

W​e Need to Talk About Kevin, by Lionel Shriver: This novel explorers the mindset of a sociopathic young man and the efforts of his mother to understand and cope with him. Even though it is entirely fictional, the novel does provide readers and opportunity to look at the problem of school violence from the perspective of the bully’s parents, one of which is supportive while the other is in terror.

D​eadly Lessons – Understanding Lethal School Violence, by N​ational Research Council: This book is composed of case studies and research results concerning school violence, both small and large scale. While the causes and results are thoroughly explored, the authors maintain that there is no one definitive reason behind school violence.

These titles should provide parents, teachers and administrators with a grasp of the causes of bullying and school violence, as well as provide some useful information for dealing with the problem.

The Effects of Property Management on School Systems

A city’s property management strategy often has a significant impact on how well its school system functions. Without a good property management strategy, school systems can become divided and ineffective.

The Effects of Improper Property Management

Ineffective property management can lead to inequality in a town. Some areas become known for poverty and crime while others become known for wealth and safety. Poor management can also cause urban sprawl, which makes it difficult for residents to move about the city efficiently. It can also cause white flight by encouraging affluent families to leave certain areas so that they can relocate in gated communities. As these problems become more pervasive, schools become segregated with poor minorities attending schools that do not receive much funding and white, affluent students attending schools that give them better opportunities to succeed.

The Effects of Improved Property Management

Schools serve their communities best property is managed well. Instead of letting white flight leave behind empty houses that quickly fall into disrepair, a Long Beach property management firm can make sure that the buildings stay in good shape. This encourages new residents to move into the empty homes.

Good property management also encourages people from diverse backgrounds and ethnicities to live in the same area. This increases diversity within the schools and creates more opportunities for minorities and poor students to thrive.

As schools improve from effective property management, better opportunities are created for teachers that want to devote themselves to teaching children from all types of backgrounds. This, in turn, gives better options to individual students and creates a better educational system overall.

Taking Advantage of Good Property Management

It isn’t always easy for cities to implement good property management techniques. Without them, though, they often continue to struggle with unemployment, poverty and crime. Taking a rational approach to property management could offer so many benefits to residents throughout the city that it is worth going through the initial growing pains.

The Law and School Violence

Teachers and parents today have similar goals in the education of our nations children, and they also have many of the same concerns. Recent studies have shown that when asked, most parents will say that discipline is their biggest concern in the public school system. When that answer is investigated, it appears to be a lack of discipline, rather than the type or severity of punishment that is most troubling. Unfortunately, a number of state and federal laws have been enacted to seriously limit a school’s power in dealing with troubled children. This has caused a number of changes in the way that administrators can enforce and even enact policies concerning appropriate and safe behavior.

One of the most important of these laws is the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act of 1975​. This law ensures that all students should have access to a free and appropriate education, and was originally intended to support students with physical disabilities like loss of hearing or sight. However, the meaning of the word “disability” has been greatly expanded in the last four decades to include those with learning, mental and emotional disabilities. For this reason, schools are unable to cull emotionally troubled children from the general population. This has resulted in schools that are much more unruly, much less controlled and much less safe for all children.

Federal Supreme Court decision such as Tinker vs. Des Moines School District have also had a huge impact on how schools can and cannot handle difficult children. Because the court ruled that neither teachers nor students surrender their Constitutional rights to free speech upon entering school grounds, children are now able to get away with much more in the way of disrespectful and disruptive speech and actions. These changes in the way that school administrators can handle their students have caused many more problems than they could have ever hoped to solve.

S​chool Responsibility for Student Violence

When troubled children are the perpetrators of violence on public school property, who is responsible? That is the question that has been at the heart of a number of incidents in recent years. Unfortunately, there is rarely a clear answer. Teachers and administrators undoubtedly have a responsibility to ensure that public schools are safe and conducive to effective learning, but just how far they can go to achieve those goals is not so clear. Because of certain state and federal laws, and specific policies in school districts, many administrators are unable to enact procedures to remove problem students from their institutions.

With this in mind, it is important for all teachers and public school administrators to understand their own responsibilities in the issue. When a student is believed to be emotionally or mentally troubled, exhibits dangerous behavior or has an attitude reflecting the possibility of that behavior, teachers have a responsibility to report the situation to their supervisors and also to the parents of the children in question. Administrators must then make the call on when use disciplinary tools like in- or out-of-school suspension or expulsion. They must also work closely with teachers in order to determine when the appropriate law enforcement officials should be brought in.

The best thing that those working within the American public school system can do to fulfill their responsibilities in the realm of student violence is to be aware of what is going on with all of their students. Who is being picked on? Who is suddenly showing a change in attitude or mood? Which students do the other seem to be avoiding, or be afraid of? Because so much of school violence is foreseeable, the answers to these questions can help point teachers in the right direction and hopefully head off any violent behaviors before they are even exhibited.

Types of School Violence

The thought of violence in the American Public School system usually brings to mind images of Columbine or the Virginia Tech massacre, however, large scale murderers are not the only – even the most likely – perpetrators of violence in schools. There are a number of different types of violence in schools, ranging in severity and with very different motivations. One of the simplest types of school violence is in ordinary bullying. Bullies will typically single out victims that they perceive to be weak and easy targets. Their primary motivation in this type of behavior is to create both a feeling and an external perception of power. For instance, picking on one small, weak child may cause the entire class to fear them. Sometimes bullying is done as a group. This type of intimidation is usually so that the bullies can feel superior to individuals or other groups of children.

Of course, not all school violence is committed by students. Teachers, staff members and administrators have been found guilty of violent behavior, either toward students or other adults. Unfortunately, these instances are not as often publicized as those between students. Many children are also unlikely to report violence at the hands of an adult, making it much more difficult to curtail that behavior and get help for the victim in question.

F​inally sexual assault, abuse or harassment may also been seen as a type of school violence. When this occurs between peers it is horrible enough, but when a child is the victim of sexual violence at the hands of an adult, if becomes an extremely difficult problem. Not only will the child fear reprisal, but because children are advised to tell a parent, teacher or clergy member when they are abused, he or she will also be effectively cut off from one of the best sources of help.

School Policies on Violence

Creating a policy on violence is one of the most demanding duties a school administrator may encounter during his or her tenure. Because of high-profile events like those at Columbine in 1999, Santana High in 2001, and the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007, having a defined set of procedures and policies in place for acts of violence is essential. One of the most important policies that a school should institute is the training of teachers and administrators to recognize signs of impending violent acts by students. Experts now believe that most perpetrators of school violence planned their actions in great detail, and that many of these students had suffered from depression and  lack of anger management. The students were also more likely to have been victims of violence at home or peer bullying.

It is imperative that schools take any and all acts and threats of violence seriously. In addition, the topic should be broached often and students should be encouraged to report violence and threats without fear of repercussion. Administrators should make it clear that any property brought onto the school grounds is subject to search and seizure, and that weapons and toy replicas were strictly forbidden. This should include lockers, backpacks, and vehicles driven to the school and parked on school lots.

Policies for dealing with students who exhibit a tendency for violence should include not only those that protect the student body at large, but also help for the offending teen. Suspension and expulsion may prevent violent acts from one individual within one school, but neglecting to address the larger problems that violent kids are experiencing is a mistake that could have dire consequences. Close communication with teachers, parents and counselors, along with the students, can help to prevent school violence and identify those who are at risk of committing violent acts.

Is It Bullying or a Hate Crime?

W​hile the short-term effects for victims are largely the same, there is often a difference in the motivation behind violent youths. While some may argue it is human nature to be afraid or distrustful of those who are different, there is little reason for this behavior to be tolerated in our schools. While many kids who are guilty of bullying grow up to be well-adjusted members of society, those who are guilty of hate crimes may only get worse. The reason for this is that for the most part, hate crimes are about identifying characteristics over which people have no control. For instance, crimes perpetuated on those because of their gender, race, skin color or sexual preference are thought of as hate crimes, whereas the same types of behavior toward those deemed “uncool,” “weird,” or just unpopular are just old-fashioned bullying. Understanding the difference can help combat both types of student violence.

D​iversity should be made a frequent topic of discussion in schools, especially in those where the population may not be as even dispersed between races. Stereotypical and prejudicial remarks should never be tolerated and teachers should take immediate steps to address that type of behavior in their students. In addition, teachers should avoid forcing students to interact with others while unsupervised. This is often the first step in targeting their victims for bullies. When students are required to work with others outside of their own social groups, it should always be with frequent teacher involvement. This will work to ensure that children are more accepting of those who appear to be different, as well as teaching them that avoiding others is not an option in a progressive society.

​Although hate crimes and bullying may often have the same result, understanding the difference in the motivation may help to combat both types of school violence. Also, it should be understood that under most states’ laws, the punishment for hate crimes is much more severe.